- Anti Joke

I hate long jokes -_-

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

what are you mike bibby?

What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

Jesus saves, passes to Moses who shoots and scores!!!

Man one: Why does the moon look like a face? Man two: I don't know, why? Man one: I don't know either, that's why i asked....

what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

If u read thus your awsome .... And if your a emo kid with rainbow hair and a 3 inch penis then NO your bad

What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because there happened to be road in the vicinity of the fowl and the odds of the bird crossing it is very high.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

One day a man walked into a wall

George Bush, a little boy, and his grandfather are on an airplane with a failing engine. They have only two parachutes to save themselves. The plane crashes and they all die.

ok there is 3 people and the white kid says "bet i got a better dick than all of you" he pulls it out and then the mexican says "nope got you beat" and then the black guy says "nope got all you beat look" and then the mexican and white guys say "its because your black" so the black guy goes home and tells his mom wht happen and ask " is it true mines bigger because im black?" she said " no it bc your 23"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111

Yo mamma is so fat that she can fit through a skinny doorway. Actually, yo mamma isn't fat at all, but rather a normal sized woman secure in her weight.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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