roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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What did the leperchaun get at the bake sale? baked goods.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Why was Dr Who unable to travel back in time using the TARDIS? Because it's just a television prop. It isn't a real time machine.

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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on a scale from 0 to 100, how childish are you? 69

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who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

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What did the Jew do before the movie? He turned off his cell phone.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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chuck norris and superman had a bet. Chuck norris immediatley won because superman is a fictional character played by an actor. Chuck norris then decided to have a bet with the actor that played superman and lost

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Knock Knock Whos there? John John Who Tic Tic BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

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How do you make a French-man cry? Kill his family.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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a blonde does something stupid. she dies. its funny.

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A man walks into a bar he orders a drink

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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