whats fun,atracks children and says wrape van on it my van i lied about it being fun

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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A rapist leaps out a woman and yells "surprise!" and proceeds to have non-consensual intercourse with her. Later, he is arrested by the police and charged with sexual assault.

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so how about that irline food

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What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Jesus. Jesus who? You're going to hell.

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Q:Why does poop stink? A: it comes from butts.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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You know that Duck song on youtube? I dont get it... ducks cant talk...

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My two friends Larry and Paul are both race horses. They were getting ready for a big race to quolify them for the Kentucky durby. BANG! The race started! What. Close race! First it was Larry then Paul then Larry then Paul! And finally Larry came out and won it! Paul went to the winners circle and congratulated Larry. He said "hey great job Larry but next time after you come back from touring will you let me win?" Larry says "oh! Of course this couldn't get between us! We're like two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket. We're best friends"... So when he came back from touring Larry said it was great! And promised let Paul win. BANG the race started! It was Paul then Larry then Paul then Larry won again. Paul was a little mad that he he didn't win but he went to congratulate larry anyway. Larry said next time he was deffinetly going to let Paul win, because he wasn't gonna let this get between them because they are two peas in a pod. Closer then bread in a basket, they are best friends. Then after Larry came back from touring he promised again he would let Paul win. BANG! The race started and it was Paul then Larry! Then Paul! Larry! Paul! Then larry won. Paul at this point furious went to the winners circle. He talked to Larry "Larry why didn't you let me win for the third time!? This is just your ego trying to win every time now!?" I didn't want them to fight so I chimed in "Larry, Paul! Please don't fight! Your two peas in a pod! Closer then bread in a basket! Your best friends!! You don't want to fight like this!" Larry turned to Paul and said "Hey look! A talking dog!"

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what did the iPhone say to the other iPhone. we should not worry about that because iPhones are mute

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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were you expecting a joke

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Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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