whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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Why was Cathy sad. Her husband Drew was killed by a land mine on a peace keeping mission to Iraq.

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What's Green and flies? Super Grapes cousin Super Grape

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Yes or No? You're wrong because it was both.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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why did the black guy fall off a cliff? because he was a zombie

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What is red and hangs around the back of a train? A miscarriage.

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

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What happened to my sunglasses?

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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No antijoke here.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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