- Anti Joke

why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

Q:What's worse than watching the show Jersey Shore? A:Nothing.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

How do you make a boy cry? Kill his family

What do a Mexican and a elephant have in common? Aside from the fact they're both alive beings, they share the same kingdom, phylum, class and the fact of both being alive beings, each other are in constant contact with the environment, they both share affectionate ties with partners of their species, being them from the same family, breeding partner ou even just alive beings of the same especies of each one.

How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

One, two, three, four and five

Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

roses are red violets are blue daffodils are yellow pansies are pink

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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