roses are read, violets are blue. i have alzheimers and Jill came tumbling down.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mommas so fat that when she walked into the ocean all the whales were far away. However, if the whales did happen to be closer to your mom it would be highly improbable that they would sing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is the redneck crying? They died of diabeetus.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the young teenage boy E J A C U L A T E? because he saw his sexy dad shirtless.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:Whats a similarity between your mom and your dad? A:They both hate you -Ryan V

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

European on my shoes, buddy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A ham sandwich walks into a bar, bartender says "We don't serve food here."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What is scarier than the boogie man? A: Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops