How do you make a twelve year old girl cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear.

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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yo mama so old that back in her school she didnt have history class

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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What's five miles long and has an IQ of 40? A democrat parade.

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Why did the father and his son drop their cola? Because a meteor hit and killed all life on Planet Earth.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Why wasn't Susie happy? because she was raped by her grandfather.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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