I'm Andrew Schmitt

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeleine mecanne.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you But the roses have wiltered The violets are dead The sugar bowl is empty And so is your head

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

thumb_up thumb_down -22

in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

My uncle Magnus and my Aunty Agnus had a baby and named it.............Death.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops