I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Why is the sky blue during day? Because it would be night if it was black.

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That awkward moment when sentences don't end the way you octopus.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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why did the kid get in trouble. Because he put this up in typing class -charles hall aka chuckles

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What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

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Two men walk into a bar. You would have thought that the second one would have seen it.

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He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

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How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the other ____?

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Why cant Joe drive his tractor? Because he doesn't have any arms or legs. Why doesn't Joe have any arms or legs? BECAUSE JOE IS A POTATO.

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in a car crash an entire family is killed from death until they all die

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What happens when your read this? you don't laugh

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What did the aliens say when they first landed on planet Earth? We've come back for Anthony Davis.

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what is Rebecca black's favorite restaurant? Ruby Tuesdays

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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