Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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Where's my tractor?

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb? NONE A YO F******G BUSINESS!!!

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What do you call a feminist that believes that all women have just as many rights as men? Stupid.

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What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

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Q: What does Harry Potter say when he answers the phone? A: "No, she's dead. This is her son."

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What's the difference between a Christian and a Jew? One believes in Jesus, the other doesn't.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven." The man nods nervously. St. Peter asks, "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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What did the archangel Michael say to Jesus? "Hello, Jesus."

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? Becuase he was hit by a couch.

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Why didn't Superman save anyone on September 11? He was in a wheelchair.

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

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So a plane flies into a world trade centre... That's not funny

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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