Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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Jimmy wanted a bike for Christmas He got cancer instead.

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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whats worse than dropping your toast butter side down ? being ripped apart from the anus upwards by a large black man

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Knock knock. I have a doorbell...

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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What's the difference a ham and bugs bunny? -When I see a ham on the dinner table, I eat it. When I see bugs bunny on the dinner table and asks me "what's up, doc?" I stay away from sugar for a while and get tested for heroin

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Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Jake did Why did Isaac cross the road? Because mum told him not to Why did Isaac cross the road? Because Maya was there

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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What did the alphabetical soup spell for little Bobby? U gOt SUzie prEgnant ....... aGaiN

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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A lumberjack wearing women's underwear under his clothes walks into a bar. Several Canadian Mounties stand up and surround him, compliment him on his cooking and offer to go looking for some wild flowers for his herb collection.

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't know how to rhyme Refrigerator ------------

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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