Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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What did one teacher say to the other teacher? We're both under-payed.

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Bala: Brid why don't you drink? Brid: When I was in college I was in students council. Whenever my friends called me during night, I used to go pick them up. Once we were working late in college and in the morning my hair was all ruined...

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A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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1 black guy jumped off a cliff at the same time as a white guy, who fell first? The one who weighed the most.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Person 1: knock knock Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: nobody Person 2: nobody who? Person 1: ............

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at a grocery store? Because I wanna spill some milk on the floor so they can call spill on aisle 9 and I'll be there waiting for you and watch you clean my mess.

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Your mother is overweight. This is largely due to her sedentary lifestyle.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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why did the boy scream? because he got shot.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why'd he fall off again? Because we put him back on.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Knock,Knock Who's there? Afro Circus Ya get the fuk off my property!

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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