What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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what does dana do in her free time? make love with jarrett

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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A Jew and a Neo-Nazi meet in a bar. They put aside their differences and enjoy a few rounds of drinks.

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My mum is called Steve

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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What's the difference between a bird and a fish ? They're both different, except the fish.

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How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

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What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

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What's worse than a bruise in your knee? A bruise in your other knee. And what is worse than that? The Holocaust. And what is worse than that? A second Holocaust, much bigger, with much more casualties.

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Which came first? The chicken? Or the egg? Whichever one was more sexually excited i guess.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Gay marriage is freaking gay.

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops