How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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You know what's catchy? A cold

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue In Soviet Russia Poem tells You -Ben

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thomas!!!!

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What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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what is worse finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grub in your apple.

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why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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Colin Fry backwards is yrF niloC

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Why couldn't the man lick his elbows? Because it is scientifically proven that over 98% of humans can not lick their elbows.

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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Is Charlie Sheen bi-polar? Yes.

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There were two mufins in an oven. They did not say anything because muffins are incapable of speech.

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Why did the chicken croos the road? He was battling severe depression at the time. His alcoholism was tearing his family apart, he was declining in job performance and his boss threatened to fire him several times. I guess at that point he just decided to end it all. It was horribly tragic, policemen knocking on the door of his wife's chicken roost and informing her of the bad news. As soon as she heard, she rushed to the scene, only to see his mangled body spread across the street, intestines falling out. They held a closed casket funeral. Formal, all black. It was raining by the time the casket was brought to the cemetery to be buried. She hasn't stopped crying since. His children ask her, where's dad, but all she can do is weep. Suicide is bad, kids

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops