So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

A penguin walks into a bar and orders a beer................ PENGUINS DON'T WALK OR TALK

a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

A black person went into a store and paid full price for his tv

A man is riding down the road on his horse, Sally. He happens to see a horse without a rider, but with two saddles. He finds this peculiar, continues into town, and has a fine day.

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

A priest and a rabbi walk into a gay bar. They are closet homosexuals and are searching for partners to engage in consensual sexual intercourse with.

Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris? All of it.

why do the klu kux klan wear pillowcases on their heads? they were going to go with coon skin but thought it was a little much!!

a. johns friend said your a towel b. rick replied im obivously not a towel and walked away in discust at his friends stupidity.

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

whats worse than being out in the cold? Being on the sun.

What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

What happens when you forget your parachute as you jump out of a plane? You wake up.

Knock, Knock Come in

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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