A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Then none of us want to be right.

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read me write me

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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Rebecca Black's career.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What's the difference between a rhinoceros? I DIDN'T MURDER MY BROTHER OKAY!!!!!

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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A man walks into a bar, it's funny because he is an alcholholic

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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tea with milk?

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What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

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Fine, ladies first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops