Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jimmy is at a movie ? He's with a gay boy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does the Gay guy have a bell on his bike? Because its the only way his blind dog can follow him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An American, a Canadian, and a Scottish man died in a horrible car accident. Their story was used as a lesson to keep teenagers from drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer, the bartender quickly takes out a shot gun and shoots the horse because he is secretly dealing horse meat to tescos

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than shitting whilst fucking? Losing your eye! Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and fast? A treadmill.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do people insist on drinking diet soda meanwhile eating extremely unhealthy food? Because some people like the taste of diet soda over regular soda.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops