What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

Who is the greatest cook ever? Adolof Hitler

knock knock who's there? Police oh shit

Knock knock who's there I killed your family

Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

The WNBA.

Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

nothing

whats worse than the holocaust? i don't know, the holocaust was pretty bad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't so much cross the road as he did go down the road, to the supermarket, where he was sold to a family of 5, and taken down yet another road to the family's house, where they enjoyed a nice family dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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