What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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Why did Jill fall off the swings? -Because she had no arms. Knock Knock? --Who's there? Not Jill. What did Jill get for Christmas? -What? I don't know. She couldn't open it.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Whats the difference in car and a bicycle? One has an engine and drivetrain designed to run on gas and the other is powered by your output of work

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PLEASE DONT READ THIS OR YOU'LL BE DIED IF YOU DONT THUMBS UP THIS LIKE POST THIS ON 20 MESSAGES OR YOU'RE BEST MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LIFE WITHIN THE NEXT 7 DAYS

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Abbie shaved her arse today....then it smiled at me

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

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What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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Why was the man sad His got raped

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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yo momma is so fat she ate the rest of the joke

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Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

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What did the kid with turrets CHEESE! say to his mom.

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A young boy asks his father if there will be cake at the party. The father tells him there won't be and tells him to f*ck off.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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