I once went to a chiropractor. She was so awful looking. You know those weird spiky fish with the lightbulb hanging off it's head? .....I saw one in a documentary once.

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What did the one Lame say to the other Lame? I don't know, what did you say?

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Why was the asian a bad driver? Because while he was driving a leprechaun was punching him in the face.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

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if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

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Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You were probably expecting a poem or something but no this is just a gardening fact

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A kid walks into a bar He gets kicked out

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What do you get when you put Star Wars and Disney together? A Bad Sequel

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Q. Why was the Asian boy crying A. Because i stabbed his family

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Moby Stick, the Great White Twig

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops