Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

What is white and long? A New York winter

What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

why did the boy drop his bus because he was hit by an ice cream

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a millipede? I don't know but it sure has a lot of legs

I was watching Fox news.

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

Who invented apple? God

Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. Then the man pays for the beer and drinks the beer.

Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...