- Anti Joke

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How long is a china man?

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

What did Steven Hawking get for christmas? A bike.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

What did the bird say to the fence? Chirp.

Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was convicted of murder and rape

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?" Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Shaun Sutton Call me: 1-800-tryhard ;)

What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

I love Japan. It's the bomb.

Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

obama

Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

What is Ron afraid of? Spiders!

i hate non minorities!

I was reading a book about antigravity, but I put it down because it was boring.

my penis

What's a black guys favourite thing to eat? Food.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a red corvette? i don't have a red corvette in my garage

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? hit him in the head with an axe

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??