Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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What's your blood type? Red.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Hey there, I like bananas! No you don't.

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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A blonde walks into a bar. She got free drinks.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes home from camp.

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Michael Brown

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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How many new born babies does it take to cover the wall? Depends on how hard you throw'em

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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