How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the black man good at basketball? Because he practiced.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde walks into a bar ouch

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you do at a club? You club.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A man walks into a bar, and sees another man with a huge orange head. He asks the bartender, "Do you know why that man has such a huge orange head?" The bartender replies: I dont know, maybe if you buy him a drink he'll tell you. So that man walks over to the man with a huge orange head and buys him a drink. He says to him: Excuse me, sir but why do you have a big orange head? The man with the big orange head replies: Well, one day I was walking along the beach and I found an interesting bottle. So I opened it and out popped a genie. He told me I had three wishes. The first thing I asked for was to have all the money that I wanted, and the means to get more. Suddenly, My pockets were overflowing with cash. So then I wished for the most beautiful, perfect woman ever created and there she appeared in front of me, and we immediately fell in love. The third thing I asked for was a huge orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops