What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What is the biggest lie ever? "I have read and agreed to the Terms of Use"

What did the Asian say to the American? herro. rook at me. i have round eye i american!

What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

Roses are red, violets are red, tulips are red, oh shit my gardens on fire!!!

What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

A dog walks into a bar and orders a pint of beer The barman replies : Woof Woof

What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

How did the chicken cross the road? Suicide. There was a graveyard across the street. RIP Mr. Chicken.

Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

So a Priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into the bar... And got drinks. What did you think was going to happen?

An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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