Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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A Korean, a Japanese, a Muslim, a Christian, a Jew, a Chinese and a member of Isis are enjoying a friendly game of poker. The Korean man kills everyone because he has a life threatening illness that prevents him from using his brain. The worst news though was that the he lost the game of poker.

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why did josh pick up the quarter because he's a jew

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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There's a god, just kidding.

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What's green and has wheels? A green car.

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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How many police does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they all beat the room for being black.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

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Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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what is worst than 1 bee stings two bee stings what is worst than two bee stings holocaust what is worse than three bee stings getting raped by a giant scorpion

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hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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Knock, knock. Who's there? George. George who? Oh sorry, I thought this was number 52. my mistake.

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Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops