Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first one turns to the second, and says nothing, because muffins can't talk. They then both die because the temperature in the oven was 370 degrees.

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my rhyme is sicker than the holocaust

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What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a penis? I don't have a stash of ferraris in my garage.

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An Irishman and an Englishman are having a heated conversation about Rugby in a pub. Another Irish comes to the pub.. He is promptly given a bar stool and menu so that he can order.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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why did the black man cross the road? to get away from the racists

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What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

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How do you find a true idiot jump in the road when the light is green.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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A man walks into a convenient store and asks the cashier where the toilet paper is. She says aisle five. He goes down aisle five and there's no toilet paper.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Immaculate Misconception - Motionless In White \m/

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Knock, knock Who's there? I'm there.

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Why couldn't the black guy support his family? He was only 3 years old.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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