A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

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Why did the plane leave late? Because they were out of Kellogg's® Breakfast Cereal.

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WILLYS

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Q: why did everyone on the ship drown? A: Because the ship sunk

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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Obama

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Q:What do you call a wizard who flies? A: A flying wizard.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What do you call it when a dead man has his wallet stolen? Rob Zombie.

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Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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