why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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A seal walks into a club, It proceeds to maul customers and then makes its way back to the ocean where it lives.

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did Elsa go into hiding. She died

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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why did the dog cross the street? because it saw a squirrel

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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A blond, brunette, and a red head are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who tells them each one can have one wish. They all wish for the same thing, to be back home with their families.

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Why did Sally fall off a tree? The tree was a man wearing a tree costume and was sexually assaulting her with his branches. Sally fell off because the cops came and the man threw her down. The tree man is still on the loose. If you have any info please call crime stoppers.

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ugvvvvvv

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Doctor, doctor! I think I've got an ear infection. I best give you some medicine.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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