How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on the training and hence productivity of the babies.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Why was the Tortous and the Hare written? So fat people will feel good about themselves.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, it's only a joke. It's not that, my wife and son were just killed in a drunk driving accident.

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What did the homosexual community have last night? A protest for gay rights.

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whats the sad part of 4 negroes driving off a cliff? the car couldve fit 5

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What does it take to play in the WNBA? Nothing....

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Why didn't the teenager go to high school? He was murdered

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Your husband died.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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What did squidward do when SpongeBob asked him to be his friend on Facebook? 1.declined it 2.got a restraining order against him 3.wondered how computer generated cartoon characters could send and decline friend requests

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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