Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What do you call a Chineses filled with bus?

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If you throw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? Who cares?

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If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

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Q: What's worse than one dead baby at the bottom of a trash can? A: One dead baby in ten trash cans.

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Your mom is not fat!

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Q. Why was the black man sad? A. He had a book nailed into is leg.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What did little boy with no arms and no legs get for chrismas: a bike

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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A black person walked up to another black person, and tells him a pun the other black person laughs and walks away

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops