a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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Your moma is so fat, that Jabba the Hutt says: "Damn!!!"

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What did the Christian say to the atheist? "Even though we don't share the same beliefs, I think it's great that we can still be good friends."

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What the flower say to the bird. Nothing

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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What's your blood type? Red.

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Knock knock ? Who's there ? Ipe Ipe who ? You sick !

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How can you tell if a dog is under your chair? Look under your chair

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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