(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken so he could fry it.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? Another successful moon landing by NASA in which the African-American astronaut went on a successful moon walk.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

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lucas sehnoun told me anti-joke was funny

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

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Why did the kid fall off his bike? His mum threw a fridge at him.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How do you find the richest man in Mexico? Go through government records and tax files and find the person with the highest salary

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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What did the giraffe say to the walrus? Nothing. Giraffes can't talk. What did the Scotsman say to the walrus? Nothing. Scotsmen can't talk.

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cccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccccorn

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A cockroach walks into a bar. The bar seems to have a pest problem.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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why are black people so fast? because there black

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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