when god gives you lemons you better hope he also gives you sugar or your lemonade is going to suck

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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Knock knock, Whos there Nig.ger Nig.ger who Fu.ck all nig.gers.

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Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Why is Jesus not real? Because Chuck Norris is still alive.

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How do you lock out a Chinese Person? Lock the door

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, get in the van

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Why is ur cousin gay? because ya dad

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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why did Tommy fall of his bike? because he was getting raped by a walrus

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What did susan boyle say when she saw a 10 year old boy get hit by a bus? "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY RING AN AMBULANCE"

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

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Your friend is so blonde that when she was born she had no hair but overtime it grew out and became blonde.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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there are 2 muffins in an oven they are cooked nicely and served as a tasty dessert

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didnt walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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