What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. I guess I make a good milkshake.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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what do you call a door made of steel? a steel door

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Knock knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Mike Davis from across the street. Come in.

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Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What looks like a horse, but smells and has feathers? A dead horse with a pidgeon in its ass.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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why did the chicken cross the road who's there and the man died of cancer congradulations! your preganant

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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what do you call a black person who hated fried chicken? a vegetarian.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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