Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of.

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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ejaculation JLR

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knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

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I don't often drink beer, but when I do, I make the poor decision to attempt to drive while intoxicated, kill a pedestrian, and end up in jail with a hangover, a DUI, and an account of vehicular homicide. Don't drink and drive simultaneously.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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Jumping out of an airplane without a parachute is a once in a lifetime expeirence.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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What did the ghost say when it stubbed its toe? Ow

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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rent a cops

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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