Hey i just met you. and this is crazy. I sent you my pubes in an envelope.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Why couldn't the fan turn on? Because it was broken.

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What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: Someone who just got stabbed to death reading the newspaper.

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it doesn't matter, it got turned into KFC before it crossed.

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Wanna here a joke? To bad you can't your black.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm bitten in half in your apple.

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What do you call 4 Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Cuatro sinco.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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I EAT YOUR SOUL. NOM NOM.

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How do you beat a black in sports. "shot him when the game starts"

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? Obama is the president and a drug-dealer has lost his life to the awful streets.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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