What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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Why was the boy late for class? He was late because he got stabbed and left in the bathroom.

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AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What do a plum and a bunny have in common? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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why did the boring girl get ditched she was boring...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Get a giant scorpion to rape him.

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How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Why'd Mary fall off her bike? Because she was hit by a bus. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Mary... O.o

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Q:Whats worse, being chased by a chainsaw or being dunked on by LeBron James? A:Since a chainsaw has one of the sharpest metal blades know to mankind, it would be the chainsaw. Although this reguires effort, it is a known fact that Lebron James has been dunked on by some kid at Xaiver, so I would think the chainsaw would hurt more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops