What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say to his wife. Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +6

1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is Macaroni Boy so Cool Because He's not

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

An american, a brit and a mexican are on a plane. The brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!". The mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!". The american proceeds to throw the mexican out of the plane. "Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the brit. The american turned around. "He killed my wife."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do at a club? You club.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There once was a man named Trevor. Trevor was walking casually through the forest one day. All of a sudden, a wolf leapt out from the trees. The wolf said, in a harsh voice, "Hey man! This is my patch". But then Trevor woke up and realised that his hallucinations were symptoms of a degenerative brain disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

MAKE

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops