Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

Why was Jesus Christ white? Because it would be a lot better if I had more confidence in myself...

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

i cant STAND cripple jokes

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

A blonde walks into a bar, and hit it head on, she is now in the hospital grasping for her life but the threatening grips of hell keep pulling her into the wretched plains of fiery wrath and despair... -Avery Vartanian

What do you get when you cross a Dachshund and a Nazi? Bestiality. Ew.

I have a riddle. What's black and white and red all over? Nothing. That's impossible.

Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

Two muffins are in an oven. They don't speak to each other because muffins do not have the ability to make speech. After being in the oven for several minutes at 375 degrees, they are removed, left to cool, and were eaten. They were good.

A dyslexic athiest..."'There is no Dog!"

Q: What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? A: Shoveling them out with a pitchfork.

A fat man orders a pizza. Then after eating it, he gets a eart attack due to his high cholesterol and lack of exercise

:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no one can draw a perfect circle

A very rich man had a daughter whom all of the men in town wanted to marry her for wealth. Except there was one man who wanted to marry her due to his love for her. The father let his daughter marry whomever she wanted from all of the men in town, and she chose a man named Wilson Fremblington who wanted to marry her for wealth, because he was physically fit and overall a friendly man.

Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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