If life hands you melons you might be dyslexic

What do you do when your condom breaks during sexual intercourse? Get AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

why aren't black people real? they are. just because they are less visible at night makes no difference.

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

GINGERVITIS! 1. redhair 2.freckles 3.no soul 4.depression/anger 5.gay JLR

What did the chair say when someone sat on it? Nothing. The person's butt covered the chair's mouth.

What did the old man say? Im old

How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

What's black when its clean and white when its dirty? A black guy that rolls in flour.

Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

penis

What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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