Your Mama's so fat she can't fit into a toy car!

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Women's Rights

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What did taxi driver say to the passenger? Where to, sir?

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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Apple juice.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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Jamie stegman liked doodle alot. Yummy he thought to himself as it entered his mouth.

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What's red and green and goes round and round? A kilt at a scottish dance

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A cyclist looses control in a race. How does he stop? Run into the spectators on the side of the road.

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what do you call afish and a cat? a catfish

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10 kids are on a bus. It's just a normal bus, it takes the kids to school and lets them off.

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Why didn't the puppy play with his toys? They were poisonous.

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Q: What did the lesbian say to her partner? A: We cannot get married in forty five states.

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What is worse then not being able to drink your vodka right away A black guy drinking for you

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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Can everyone please stop posting shit about my girlfriend because it seriously isnt cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops