What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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When Chuck Norris dives into a pool... he gets wet due to the aqueous nature of the water

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Why the West African Rhino is extinct? They were never Horny

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Roses are red violets are blue I don't know you so get away from me.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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How did the fat guy servive the plane crash??????? He bounced

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

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What do you calla baby nailed to a wall? Art.

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some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

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Why are there so many anti-jokes about refrigerators? Because the writer of the joke was pressured by terrorists that would kill him if he didn't write about refrigerators.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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What did the fish say to the human ? He didn't say anything fish can't speak.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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