- Anti Joke

Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

what is the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? you take your shoes off before you jump on the trampoline.

A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

What do you call it when you almost win? You lose.

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a 'women's rights' joke I'd be bill gates.

What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He had to get to the other side.

What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

What time did the Chinese man go the dentist? About 5 minutes prior to his appointment

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

what did mohammed say to Jesus? nothing they lived in completly different time periods

Your mom is so fat, that your gonna get a brother soon.

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

What did hitler give his granddaughter? A gas bill.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a man holding a shotgun was chasing him

Irish sobriety