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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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Why was the dyslexic cowboy crying when he came into school that day? He had chronic diarrhea.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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What did the bank teller say to Santa Claus? May I help you?

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roses are red, violets are blue, get on your knees ho, and stick to me like glue.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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Somebody stole my goat, now I can't enter it in the fair

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Your mom is so poor she can't afford to buy herself nice things.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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All these jokes are very entertaining, but if you look closely, Lebron clearly travels. Wheres the call ref what the hell.

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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