Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

Roses are Red Your Face Has Turned Blue This Pillow I have Is Smothering You

whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The first is a person of the Jewish Faith and the other is a popular item of food.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she was born with no arms and is not loved.

You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was tired of the people on the side she was on who told lame anti jokes, so she tried to stay away from them.

Comments my ladyfriends are totally not daring me to type here *yawn* My penis is small. Nero`s penis not active and retractable. My penis is only 19 cm. Nero wishes it was "only" that big, fuck I got more self irony than these got guts! "Nero is hung like a horse" Nero has not, nor will ever try to compare, but fuck, proportionally its impossible huh? "Nero is underrating himself" Pff, A God is always a God. "Nero is an insane Narcissist" Two of the ones Nero regularly bangs dared him say that, if that's my name, I love this game. "Nero has a bent dick" What? I do not, some people do, is that good or bad? Nero could not care for the opinions of others but you right... Fuck nevermind. "Can we stop quoting my dick, seriously?" What I just said out loud. "Nero is an animal rapist" Nero believes that the newcomer that first dared me to say "His dick is "ONLY" 19 cm" is being a bit passive agressive, just a tiiiny bit, now lets go with child molester and pictures or something huh? SIgh... "Nero has balls of steel" Now, we are really on the same wavelength. "Nero would never do this on youtube" I regularily do and will stop now just to show off. "Nero knows no fear" I FEAR tht you might be wrong, but I FEAR you might also be right "Nero adds the comments under because he gets insecure" No, but if you keep adding all with "Nero" as in third person instead of I, it wont quite add up will it? "Nero nearly always refers to himself in third person" Nero concurs "Nero has bitemarks on his penis" The shame! Oh no! XD because men really dont like to show off their scars lol XD, my dick has been sucked by thousands the shame XD "Nero is not brave but borderline insane" Ouch... Seriously it takes balls to be borderline insane, and I am completely and total insane, I could sit down and yell this at a karaoke bar you know... Why not? "Nero has feelings" This is my own, fuck I am brave, even brave enough to admit I dislike this being questioned. "Nero is afraid of hights" "Nero admits that jumping from a 120 store skyscraper left him sleepless for two weeks or something insane, I happen to do much of my work at that same floor so OBJECTION DISHONORED!" "Nero is not a sex God" Nero is confused, Nero gets told that all the time in bed. "Nero gets lied to in bed" Thats just mean, what does that have with admitting stuff. "Its settled, Nero is fucking bad ass" I know and I keep telling you, now you realize? "Girl S, girl B, and girl T and K do not enjoy having their first letter in their names mentioned" Nero gives zero fucks. "Nero is getting blueballs" True, oh no, my sex drive is excellent. "Nero got beaten by a bitch" You just asked me to quote you s a bitch, okay I typed that and you girls noticed that but did you notice that I apologized for using that word? No? Well good luck finding it now! But hey, I am sorry I did not mean it, I was just getting VERY TIRED FROM EXTREMELY HARD SEX So is it forgiven? "Nero is forgiven" Sincerely, that is the weirdest most akward thing Nero has been dares to post so far, Nero does not believe in forgiveness but in taking responsability. "Seriously BITCHES! Give me something challenging!" Nero deals fair and justly to the deserving "Nero`s typing sucks in english" GIRLS SPEAKING LIKE ZOMBIES HAVE TERRIBLE GRAMMAR, NERO IS NOT A LAWYER IN ANY ENGLISH SPEAKING NATION AND KNOWS SIXTEEN OTHER LANGUAGES EIGHT OF THEM WHICH HE USES DURING A YEAR. "THIS IS GETTING BORING" Mine. "Game Over BITCHES!" You wont admit I am bad ass enough to post all of this, I wont admit that you got the... Whatever it takes to behave like girls women whatever you like. "Nero will post this because he is insane" Nero wonders if that was a dare or just girls agreeing completely with his opinion of self. Posting. "NOO WAIT DONT BE STUPID WE, I ETC ARE JUST KIDDING DONT DO IT" Nero senses buncha idiots but shuts his ears, this was a dare and Nero is a daredevil... To the point where Nero does not understand why he had to detach the laptop and hide in the toilet in order to post this... Nero hears its all like "Do not humiliate yourself" "Do you have no self dignity?" "Nero does not understand what the fuck is humuliating nor against self dignity..." Well What the FUCK does a REAL NEROMAN NEED SOME QU33R DIGNITY FOR! "Nero hears girls questioning Nero`s social awareness" XD "Nero does not care what the fuck random people thinks about him, there will always be bad opinions, jealous opinions, and opinions that lead to sex" "Nero is not perfect, but wont admit it" Nero is not perfect, he knows, but Nero has not claimed so either, so Nero thinks that people should stop thinking that Nero is perfect. "Wow, did he like really post it? That is so like lame!" Nero, can hear in girls voice that they are merely testing Nero. "Nero claims he posted this to them" Girls laugh, Nero was right, they laugh with Nero not at Nero, "Really asks one girl to Nero" Not yet, here goes... What, is this supposed to be humiliating? I HAVE A SAYAN SWAGGER BITCHES! (did not actually say that, but... Employerss wont stop reading Nero`s stuff and get to work. "Nero will start cutting the daily salary of his employers" Mark my words. "Nero can you just get the fuck out of the toilet?" Nero holds on a bit, girl does not know there is another toilet, this could get fun and kinky. "Is he actually using it?" I dares myself here, people think im shitting or something, okay time to post this sigh ever boring crap that humored them at least, and that will make them go "Asshole I almost pissed myself" Nero regrets opening the door at all XD Next time... And then Nero will tell idiot B that there are four toilets at the very same corners... Which is far less weird than it sounds, no crowding at parties fancy with the fucking ugly and disgusting employees that are still reading this (YES YOU!) And the hot chicks, and me parties... (this is not a party, this is a... Smaller grouping). "Nero is a braggart" Ok you got me there, my lifestyle includes expressing the joy pride and happiness it gives me, the satisfaction, without revealing the name of my bitches... Nor girls/women/cousins/female anima... Ok not that last one, well actually she was fucking ugly, and it was a dare, so maybe she passes as a... No? Nah, Nero cant say such things even to the ones of... "Inner beauty". "NERO IS FINISHED" Now Nero just regrets keeping the door close, you which read this far too, because you could have seen the cutest prettiest boobiest girl in the group, piss herself at. "Why knows, I turned on the webcam.com and Nah, I dont reveal that kinda shit to others than God and myself... Which is of course only myself" "Nero is a fetishist" Ok of what? Nice one, Neither Nero nor the "suggesters" know... "Nero is bored of this and wont have more suggestions" DAMN STRAIGHT! "NO DONT POST THAT YOUR DIGNI" NERO FUCKS DIGNITY AND POISE AND... NERO IS METAL HARDCORE HE CHAINSAWS PETS HEADS OFF BY DAY AND DEFENDS THOSE ACCUSED OF CHAINSAWING PETS HEADS OF BY NIGHT. "Dont Post that come on!" Nero gives Zero fucks about what whiny girl B almost pissed herself girl thinks, and he still scores... If you know what I mean ;) "NOOOO WTF! WHY WHAT WILL THE HORSEHEAD NETWORK THINK OF YOU?" Well I am already the Moral Man and the most pointless invention which is a man (unless you include Justin Beiber, which makes you weird) Moral: It also means that I am the man whose "moral name" has most green thumbs" "Nero please, I need to use the toilet, I got to pee" Lol XD okay not in the mood for this, and the word pee with that voice made what could have been fun sound... Too young. "NERONERONERONERONERONERO" MORAL MAN

Roses are red. Violets are blue. This poem sucks. I like math!

What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

i man walks into a bar, he is found dead two days later with severe head trauma.

Dyslexics are teople poo

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

What's the funniest thing about the holocaust? Nothing it wasn't a joke

A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

A boy in Bible class was poking a girl in front of him with a pencil. Atfer, maybe ten minutes of this, she was asked "Sarah, what did Eve say to Adam after they had had twenty-seven children" The boy poked her with the pencil again. She stood up, and said "I think we have enough kids Adam."

Racial Equality

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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