Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 8 9. I'm just counting

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Half life 3 confirmed

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's very loud, has 60 wheels, and is covered in snow? A: A massive car pile up in January that was caused by a women being distracted while Texting. 7 people were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into a worm and finding an apple in it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A horse enter a bar, and the barman says: "why the long face?" The horse has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

3 black guys walk into a restaurant and they sat down, ate their meals, and even tipped the waitor handsomely then for about 10 minutes they talk and then leave restaurant. Soon after a white guy comes and holds up the place for all it's money then killing three hostages before being taken down by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what didn't I do when making this joke? Read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

your mothers smells so bad,because she has poor hygiene skills

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the small child cry? He was forced to dig his own grave at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A mercenary was sent from the US to kill a terrorist leader. He was captured by the terrorists but wouldn't give away any information. They beat him, shocked him, cut him, and punched him in a dark room with a light beaming right down on him like a spotlight. It was a grueling five long days until they said "We know you have the information we want, tell us or you will die!" The mercenary sat in silence. They took out a gun and pointed it to his head. The mercenary then broke down and told the terrorists the information they wanted to hear. The terrorists then shot him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Math: "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 4 in the other, what do I have?" Answer: "An unreasonable amount of bottles to hold in two hands."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Three blind mice go into a pub, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he (assuming he bears male reproductive organs) saw some corn on the other side (using the light rays refracted primarily by his cornea onto the retina) which is his staple diet as he is a herbivorous chicken. As corn is the producer of the food chain in question and the chicken is the primary consumer, a fox being the secondary and an angry farmer being the tertiary, he needs to ingest this food source in order to obtain the glucose required to produce adenosine triphosphate by the process of aerobic respiration in the mitochondria of his chicken cells. Thus, the chicken crossed the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the rich white student to the poor arabian teacher? good morning Mr.Stevenson.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

burn baby burn your nanas burning

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's red, black, and green all over? This is! I only wish you could see it too - the website wont let me upload a picture - but it is pretty impressive! Oh well.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops