Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why is ur dad an alcoholic? he drinks a lot of alcohol

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man had come into a bar. No wait, it was a horse. A man had come into a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

you...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retatrded

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was sally the best at hid and go seek they couldn't find her body

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a mime make noise? Throw a brick at his face

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The only positive thing in my life, is the HIV test! Lymmel

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops