A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

a pope and priest walk into a bar what's the first thing they say? OUCH my head

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Do you know whats a joke? Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Were can you find a bag of meth?

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

thumb_up thumb_down -31

PhilosopherCon: "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?" "Why?"

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I had a really great joke to tell you!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

A black guy, a mexican, and a jew walk in a bar. The mexican had to go to the bathroom. He asked the bartender where the bathroom was and she directed him down the hall where he pooped in quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

thumb_up thumb_down -31

a man walks into a bar, when he leaves he thinks he can hold his liquor and kills a mother and two children attempting to drive home.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why didn't Sally go to the party? Because everybody hates her and she wasn't invited.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you confuse a Muslim? - Rub his belly.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops