How much does a dead battery cost? Nothing, it's free of charge.

Q:When do you club a newborn baby? A:Whenever you want to because babies are stupid

What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

Everybody will die

Why did the blind man itch his knee? He has cancer

So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

13 =B you just learned something

Why do so many people like writting really bad anti jokes? Said Santa Claus

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

Knock Knock Whos there? Jason Oh, ok come in.

Penis

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

there was a little girl walking through a park. then she was kidnapped and most likely raped and sold to a foreign country.

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

Why did the kid with no legs fall down the stairs? Because his dad pushed him...

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "I want six shots of whisky," responds the young man. "Six shots? What’s the occasion?" asks the barman. "My first blowjob." "Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house." To which the young man replies, "No offence sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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