Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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why did the doctor go to jail? he was found guilty of the murder and rape of a 6 year old boy.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why does Charlie Sheen do cocaine? Because his father was a poor role model and he's an unstable celebrity.

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How can you make a Russian happy? Giving him two tickets for him and his wife to Disneyworld.

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

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What did the black man say to the jew and the blonde girl as they walked to the car. Shotgun.

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What did the black college graduate say to the Jewish high school dropout? Do you want me to also clean your fourth floor executive bathroom, Mr. Bernstein?

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I love it when i go into my classroom first thing in the morning, and the light are off... i always feel so Empowered... i walk in, and say Let There Be Light! while i lift my arms up and there was light.... omg! im god! O_O

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

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How was Charles Manson able to get women to kill for him? Because he was charismatic and intelligent.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

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Why did the mexican immigrant have no friends? He lacked social skills and was unfamiliar with American mannerism's.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer...and the other is a watermelon.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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Q: Why did the girl fell from the swing? A: Because she had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops