What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We are both lawyers."

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Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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What is blue and on the bottom of the pool. A drowned baby

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Q: Why did the guy ring the doorbell? A: Because he was sick of all the crappy knock-knock jokes

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Billy wanted a pet...and now he got cancer...

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You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

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What did the black man do when his Polish friend died of cancer? He fertilized his front lawn as it was beginning to burn due to overexposure of the sun.

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Q: What did a rock say to a Another Rock? A: Don't take things for Granite!

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This is in Spanish when you're not looking.Just kidding, that's not possible. It's actually German.

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What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the city on the other side. He hoped he could find work in one of the city's cheap factories. He needed money for his family: he could not bear to see them slowly starve for any longer. If he could get a lowly-paid job he may be able to just sustain them. But he knew it could not last for long. He would probably die on the streets or in the slums, cold, lonely and starving. But it was a risk worth taking - he could not see his own family waste slowly away like so many of his friends had.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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