One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde got angry and called the cops, who proceeded to come and arrest him.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What came in like a wrecking ball? A wrecking ball.

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Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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A Blond and a Brunette are falling down to their deaths, which one hits the ground first? Does it matter? They both die anyway.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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